The Tech Guy

Illia is going to be my new best friend. At least I hope so.

Illia is a tech guy. He’s the guy who understands intuitively what all the wires and codes and connections mean. He’s coming by today to hook up my Smart TV, because apparently my Smart TV is much smarter than I am. I didn’t used to think I was stupid. Alas, I stand corrected. 

I have things in my home that I have no idea how they work, like the smart thermostat, the ice maker, the heart monitor, and don’t get me started on SONOS. Some of the things, I used to know how they worked, but they’ve been upgraded or “improved”, so, now, not a clue. They don’t look like they used to – they all look oddly the same, plastic boxes with as few identifiable characteristics as possible. Where there used to be four obviously placed input receptacles clearly marked in black and white, for plugging in the cords that make the thing work, we now have one or two  receptacles, hiding in an almost unreachable location, with an embossed black on black label in type that is so small you could easily think it was an unintentional scar in the plastic.

There was a time when you moved the dial on the thermostat to the temperature you wanted, when your ice trays made ice if you put water in them, when you listened to your own heart to hear if it was working, and when you played records of music you wanted to hear, as opposed to a curated playlist, an incredibly redundant list, that Mr. Al Go Rhythm put together for you. But I digress.

Illya will be here in a few hours and will unlock the mysteries of the universe and we will be very appreciative. And just on the off chance that some other piece of technical wizardry might go awry in the future, I’m going to hold onto Illya’s phone number and file it away on my iphone...or ipad...or laptop...

Or maybe I’ll just write it down.         

“ Why spend 10 seconds doing something when you can spend 10 hours failing to automate it.”

–Anonymous